Dear Ashley
you may wonder why Mummy and Daddy have not posted in a long while. It's not that we've cast you aside, never for one second were you not in our thoughts. Truth is, mummy and daddy longs for you so much that it hurts to visit this blog. As the world counted down to Christmas and New Year in meaningless revelry, mummy and daddy chose to stay home and reminisced the precious hours we spent with you in the NICU at KKH. Do you know this year, we chose not to put up the Christmas tree as a form of silent protest against the season's festivities. We had nothing to celebrate nor be jolly about - you were snatched from us before we could even have a good look at you...
Mummy and daddy's conversations constantly revolve around you - how different it would be had you survived. You would have brought so much joy and laughter to our empty big flat. Increasingly, the pain of losing you makes coming home so meaningless for we had nothing to look forward to. You were not there.
The silence in the house rings loudest especially during weekends and public holidays. We could have spent the day out at the Zoo, frolicking at the pool or just enjoying a leisurely walk at the Park. But without you, nothing brings us fulfillment. So we retreat into our grief and spend quiet moments at home, hoping that perhaps somehow in our stillness, we can hear you cry out to us from Heaven.
We know we had to move on and one way for us to pick ourselves up is to adopt a baby. A baby who's family cannot afford to give her the good life and the love which we had reserved for you and your brothers. We wonder if you, Nat and Joash would have objections but my heart tells me 'No'. All 3 of you will be delighted to have a sibling to accompany Mummy and Daddy in your place till our journey on earth is done. So our new hope for the new year is that God will handpick this baby for us so that as a family, we can put off our sackcloths and start anew in 2008.
Love,
Mummy
Thursday, January 17, 2008
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17 comments:
All the best and God bless.. I happen to see your blog url through my friend and suddenly I feels I'm such a bad mother
Hi,
I do not know you personally, but I came across the thread set for baby Ashley in the Singapore Motherhood Forum. It must have been painful for you to have gone through what you went through. Me and my hubby will be praying for you. If you don't mind having a new friend, maybe you can email me at godloved.sunflower@gmail.com. Hope to hear from you, however if this request to have you as a friend is too abrupt, then may I apologize and still wish you all the best...
Ashely and her brothers are beautiful angels for sure. Don't worry, God is with you and your kids. We all love them. =) Stay strong because God have greater plans for you all in life. Blessed are those who do not hinder God's kingdom.
John 12:26
"If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honour."
you have my blessing.
Hi,
I found your site via “Child Bereavement Support Singapore” website. Although a complete stranger to you but I just want you to know we grief with you too. We had just loss our baby gal on the 22 Dec.07.
Our joy turned to dismay and fears when we were told at 20 weeks scan that she suffered from a rare but very serious heart condition and were advised to consider terminating the pregnancy. After much soul searching, we decided to continue to nurture her in uterus and confront her fate, whatever that might be our baby gal fought hard to steal more time with us but only lived for 10 days. We were grateful that we could be alone with her in her last hours when she was in distress. And we were much grateful that we could even spent 3 days with her at home and had the chance to talk to her and share our dreams with her. We do think that she hung on to her life and fought for the one extra day of time, “for us”.
As there are no short cuts to grieving-it's natural, unavoidable and as we have to face up to the reality of our child's death. Our pain is still incredibly intense and perhaps it always will be. While, it had been a month and a half now since she had left us thou we do learn how to put on smile in front of others, but when you lie awake crying at 4am in the morning, crying for a child you will never see again and reliving every painful memory... only you can realize how suffocating your pain can be... even till this moment while am writing to you - how can you explain that an hour does not go by when i don't think of her, wonder what my little gal would have like, and so desperately long to hold her again..
Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
will God always sends rainbows after the rain...?
He knows every heartache?
Sees every tear?
You think so...
God’s Miracle
BTW, would u all joining the "Children's Memorial" on Saturday 1st March?
God's Miracle.
Dear God's Miracle
I feel so sorry to read of your loss. My husband and I would be attending the Children's Memorial on 1 March alone (no other friends have experienced a child's death before and no relative would feel comfortable tagging along) so if you are free, do come along with your husband. I do not have your contact, can you please write me at angelinesim(at)yahoo(dot)com?
Dear Ashley's Dad & Mom,
hv sent my contact via email address mentioned.
Pls check,
God Bless & Happy CNY!
God's Miracle
words are just words and can never as near express the feelings of loosing someone close
we have lost two daughters and can understand
we believe our children wants us to move on and dont want us to remember them in sufferring and in pain
as parents we want to see them in happiness, our children also want us to be happy
make the best of the days that we have while on this short time on the Earth
We finally realized all the crying is not going to change anything
go out and make and become someone important in someone else's life
Hi, here's a verse tat was prompted in my heart while readin ur blog, Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. indeed God's thoughts are higher than ours, tat's where we need to seek Him and to build on our faith in Him. wat God had told Job, He's the One who created the heaven & earth. hang on in ur faith in the Lord God Almighty. rest assure tat they are now wi God & Jesus. start a new beginnin by God's strength.
Been following your blog for a while. Would love to hear good news on your child adoption. Am sure the good Lord will handpick The One. Take care & God bless!
good morning, mr and mrs sim.
i am sorry for your loss..
i really cried while reading the post. yes, it's very emotional.
and i really think that nat, joash and ashley will be elated to hab a new sibling...
best wishes,
siokhong
Felt so guilty after reading your entries. I kept wondering why hubby and I have yet to be bless with a child after having our first born 7 years ago who is now in Primary One.But having one than none is much more than I ever could ask for.Thank you for making me the things we take for granted in life. I don't not know how you two have the strength to carry on.But God does not burden anyone than more than they can take. You two must be really special. Take care, the angels will wait for you at the gates of heaven....
Dear Mr and Mrs Sim..
I just cum upon yor blog thru one of other blogger. I was weeping while reading yor entry. Can't imagine how tough both of u. U both are really great, e greatest parents in e whole world tat I ever met b4. When sumone said tat he/she loves their kids very much, I dun really trust tat they can feel e same feeling as you both had undergone wif 3 times funeral.. Keep smiling, God has His own plan, and I beleive it will be e best for you husband and wife..
I have no words to express....
only my tears....
B strong and B encourage always....
i was weeping when i read your blog, and i can feel your pain as i was reading it.Because i am also a mother.
i really hope that your wish will be granted and and i am sure a healthy baby is on the way to you now....
Hi...
My heart goes out to you and your family. We share your hurt and I just wanna say that we all stand in faith with you.
I pray that God heals the hurt and grief. I believe that your blog and the life of Ashley, and know that your even sharing your feelings and grief.. you are blessing many of us out there.. to live life as a blessing.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
- 2 Corinthians 12:9
God grant you shalom peace and wholeness and restoration in the days ahead. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and his finished work. His loving hands will forever embrace you and hide you in the shadow of his mighty wings. Cast all your sorrows to Him and let His presence and love wash over you all over again throughout this period and forever more.
Benjamin
New Creation Church
Arrow Ministry
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