It's a brand new year. My aim for this blog is going to take on a new direction. I hope I can slowly develop it into a resource for bereaved parents and their family. A place where we share how we overcame our own grief of losing 3 dear babies which we tried so hard to conceive in the 1st place.Very often, when people hear of a loss (be it miscarriage, an early infant death or simply death of a loved one), they do not know how to react and all parties are caught in awkward silence.
From our own experience, these are some thoughtful words which one can use in times of bereavement:
What can I say when a baby dies? Some suggestions:
I am sorry for your loss.
I wish you didn't have to experience this.
I am sorry that this happened to you.
I am thinking of you during this difficult time. (usually written)
I'm so sorry to hear this.
I wish you comfort.
I hope things will be good.
I wish this hadn't happened to you.
I'm sad for you.
I don't know why it happened.
I wish things had turned out better for you.
What can I do for you?
This has been a terrible loss for you.
I wish it hadn't turned out this way.
Words can be a powerful source of solace and comfort. People often fear so much saying the wrong thing that they often don't say anything at all but a grieving couple would like to know that family and friends are there to support them during this difficult time of loss. So next time the need arises, pick the right words and bring a ray of sunshine to someone grieving.
9 comments:
Dear Ashley's Mum and Dad,
I came across this beautiful blog when I was searching for some resources for bereaved parents. I am moved by your story and warmth by your courages. Such courages our children had left us behind together with memory we cherished forever.
Our lovely Anthony returned to God's home after a magical three years he was lent with us just a day before Christmas last December.
Not a day went by without be thingking of him and feeling the pain in my chest. Knowing that I am not alone travelling this unknowns had lent me some comfort.
thank you for sharing your story.
Diana Betts
Found your post so useful :) I'm definitely one of those people who, tho meaning well, never know what to say to someone going thru a loss...whatever I say always sounds so inadequate (even to myself).
Thanks again and I hope that you'll succeed in your quest to help other people going thru bereavement.
jus saw you blogposts...Tears rolled down my cheeks as i read you posts...My heart realy goes out to you both...I hope God shows you both a sunshine in your life...I reali hope we can keep in touch. My email: registered_nurse_fila@yahoo.com.sg.
Cos i too had a stillborn in 2007. Hope we can find some comfort in getting to know each other n supporting one another....
Take good care... =)
I am a mom-to-be reading up and pregnancies and blog-hop to your webpage. Your posts touches me. I pray for the best to come upon the both of you. Take care!
Dear Parents, i cried when i saw the pictures of Ashley. I am a christian too and of course i do not understand or cannot understand why God had to bring the little ones home so fast. But i always tell myself no matter what decisions God had made for me, i know God had his reasons and he mean good to me.
Maybe we do not understand why but we do understand the LOVE God had given us and shown us. Its painful to see the little darling leave this world but we know that they are in a much better place called HEAVEN.
Trust me the 3 little darlings are singing songs and in the arms of GOD every moment.
Be strong and GOD bless.
Hi,
I was in tears while reading this blog & very sorry for your lost. Baby Ashley is such a beautiful princess.
I lost Baby Angel Rayvin 8 1/2 month ago & miss him tremendously. Due to the Eastern conservative culture, my family members have not mentioned baby Rayvin since the past 8 months & that hurts me deeply. Sometimes I feel like i am suffering all alone but my blog helps me to release my tension & 'communicate' with Rayvin.
I wish you & hubby all the best and hope that things change for good.
Hi, I've been a silent visitor on your site, was led here again today via the adoption thread on SGMotherhood.
My neighbour's just adopted a baby -- if you like I could put the two of you in touch with each other. Just leave a comment on my blog to get in touch with me.
E
http://bottomsup.wordpress.com
Good idea to do this. I found that supporting my friend after stillbirth came naturally to me because I imagined how I would have felt if that had been my baby - that there are times when you can't "cheer" people up. When you have to say "What happened is a terrible tragedy and I wish it wasn't true." But most people ended up avoiding my friend, or expecting her to get over it quickly. This hurt her badly. I hope more people learn to be sympathetic and tactful around grieving parents instead of causing them even more pain through thoughtless comments or ignoring them. Good luck with your adoption plans too - I'm sure you will succeed. Best wishes to you both.
Hi, I have not visited your blog for more than a yr, but found the link again while checking some long ago mails.
in my heart, I am glad that you found new hope and move on. But I still could feel the heart wrenching moment when i first read this blog more than a year ago.
you taught and reminded us of how precious our little one can be and this message will be spread among all parents and parents-to-be, that each and every little ones are the blessing of life and we should give our best to them.
Post a Comment