Today, our baby Ashley celebrates her 1st birthday but we are not there to celebrate it with her. Her party's in Heaven, orchestrated by God her Heavenly Father and attended by her brothers Nathaniel and Joash together with other little angelic guests.
One year on, has our grief diminished?
When Ashley died, we felt a rip in our souls. Although a year has passed, the pain is still searing. We have to die to our grief each day and make a determined effort to trust that our babies' death are part of God's sovereign plan. In this past year, God is slowly mending our spirits - first with basting threads and then with beautiful stitches. How we wish He would sew us up quickly so the pain will be eradicated totally, immediately.
Help me understand, Lord, that if we hurry you, it will be as if an unskilled apprentice sewed up our wounds with uneven stitches that will not hold. If we allow you time to heal, you will sew a fine seam and weave its pattern into the tapestry of our lives, making them more beautiful than they ever were...
So today Lord, we surrender our heartaches and sorrow once again to you. Help us throw a beautiful celebration for our daughter Ashley. Let her know how much we love her and long for her. Although the only mark she made on this world was in our hearts, she is not forgotten.
Perhaps in another year, we may come to find peace in her leaving but it's definitely not this year. You are still at work Lord...
37 comments:
ive been reading your blog again and again....and everytime i read, my tears cant stop flowing. Be strong and i know, your lovely babies are safe in God's hand.
Happy Birthday Ashley....
I wound up on your site while crying about the loss of my adult brother. I am SO sorry for your terrible pain. My prayers and wishes for peace to you and your family.
my tears drop, even on the repeated visits to this blog.
As i pray for your, it's really encouraging, to how your are staying strong with God and trusting Him in all things even when your meet with this tribulations.
God loves you, and your beloveds are with God, God Bless your family.
with love, bellrarie
Hi,
Is this Mr David Sim? A friend of mine showed me this blog; not sure if you still remember me but you've been one of my greatest inspirations while I was still in school.
I'm sorry to hear this and please stay strong. God bless you all; and Happy Belated Birthday Ashley!
PS: This is Jee Yon here from G.M.S.S.
Best Regards,
Jeeyon
Hi, I have chanced upon your heartbreaking blog in memories of your three precious lost to you. I am very sorry for your loss. It is so very hearthbreaking.
No parent should go through the pain of losing their children.
I fully understand the pain, tears and anguish you have gone through and still are going through, as we too have lost our twin boys on the last day of May 2008.
Your blog has brought me some peace as well as an outlet for my never ending tears.
Wish that time will pass faster so that the grief will somewhat lessen with the healing of time.....
Happy Birthday Ashley. Bless your parent with peace and faith in them. Let them know that even though you are not with them, you are always by their side. Let them know that GOD is holding your hands, guiding you throughout and angels are teaching you like how those teachers are teaching our children here on earth...
Have a wonderful and magical birthday party up in the wonderland call HEAVEN ... :)
Dear Lord in Heaven, I pray that you'll hold David and Angie in your arms today, as you hold Nahtaniel, Joash and Ashley in your arms in Heaven. I pray that your grace would be sufficient for them to live everyday, lighting their paths as they walk with you. May your light and mercy be with them as they fulfil your will for them on earth.
Jehovah Rapha, i pray that you continue to let your healing take place in their hearts. It is a process, Lord Jesus i pray that you will grant them the patience that they require as they wait upon you.
Lord i pray that you give them a revelation of what you are doing in their lives. I pray for radical obedience, even though sometimes doesn't make sense, but we believe that you are the Almighty, you know what's best.
May your grace and mercy be upon them as they continue their walk in life with you.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Happy Birthday Ashley....
i came across your blog sometime early this year, i can't even remember how i chanced upon it. but ever since then, i've added your blog to my Favourites list and will drop by as and when.
three days back, my 3-and-a-half year old son who was diagnosed with a childhood cancer left us to be with God, after a month's stay in the ICU.
the nurses passed us some brochures and a book titled, Farewell, My Child published by the CBS group. it was then that i recalled about your blog.
i know words will never suffice to console parents/grandparents who have lost their child/grandchildren, but from a bereaved mother to another: I know how it feels.
Stay strong please, and i hope someday, even though we know the pain will never ever go away, time will at least help to minimise it.
Take care and God bless.
My condolences...
No one could bear the loss of their next of kin...
i lost my closest cousin a few years back... so i feel your pain... and when i saw the pics of little Ashley's ashes... i cried...
RIP Dear Ashley...
Take care and be strong...
Happy Birthday, Ashley. :)
my heart bleed and my tears flow each time I visit your blog. Your strong faith in the Lord, you have displayed so much obedience to God, faith and never once did I sense your anger or hatred towards the Lord.
I have lost one child 4yrs back, and today lost 3 children to their father who took them away after he had another woman.
I can understand the wound that you are going through, and let's allow our Abba Father to heal us during this season. Love
I am terribly sorry for your lost. I couldn't help but teared.
i feel your pain.
Stay strong.
To A Pair of Brave & Loving Parents,
Hello to both of you, Thank you for sharing your life-story on a blog-site with the whole world. I happened to be reading your writings, for one of my ex-patient's family member had shared the wonderful things you had done to enable grieving and healing.
As a medical personnel, I have to comment that both of you had done more than wonderful job as parents. It takes a lot of courage to embrace the hurt and pain that you both had experienced.
Personally, I had lost two children of mine in 3 years due to my carelessness (on my health), which resulted in death prior to their births. My youngest son could have been as old as Ashley too, and tears fall when I read the poems you had wrote for your lovely girl. I could feel the suffering that you had experienced, and the pain that you had to faced in everyday living. Despite of the pain, do understand that no one could be better parents to Nathan, Joash and Ashley; than you and your husband.
Being in the medical, I still have to encounter death and dying in everyday work of mine and I still cry for the pain of parting with my patients. I guess as human, parting is forever new to us, and spare no one from pain, no matter who we are and what we work as.
I have to thank you for sharing and writing those wonderful poems, for they had been assisting me in counselling and de-briefing for families who experienced death of their love ones. Continue to be brave and take each day as a blessing, as I had been doing too. I know three of your angels will guiding you along the path of healing, towards recovery.
All the best and take care.
Warm Regards...
Although i'm young, but i could feel the pain.
Be strong and I believed your babies would want to see their parents happy too.
Jia You!
god will bless you. we are after all children of god... lord may think your children is not suitable for the challenges your darlings dear... the lord above is snuggling close and given every last pinch of love to those babies who died too early to even see the world... they are in safe hands...you have always brought your love since their creation and have prepare infinity amount of love for them. this may be a little effort to you, but i believe you have so much love for them that your babies don't even want to go to find the lord... they want your love, care, everything you give that make their day, their lovely smile....
the lord will convey your love for them now.... when you are bing call back to the lord. remember to give the biggest hug to them... your most simple action and effort to remember and love them... make their day, their lovely smile
Is that mandai Blk D? I suppose I came across that too. My friend was placed at 0240. take care. happy birthday to ashley
Hellooos.
I know that it's a really big girant you're facing.
But it's really good that your faith for God remains.
I know it's really saddening, but since it's God's will why not go on with life happier and serve God.
God will never short-change people.
And God will surely see how much you trust in him.
Jiayous [:
Hope my friend up there will take care of your babies too. =) she's a neighbour of your babies. 0240.
Allow time to take away your pain.
Everything happens for a reason.
Be strong.
You'll find happiness soon!
Be sure of it!
Miracles do happen!
God bless you.
=)
i believe God has His perfect plans for everyone out there. I started believing in God when i was 14. Now, i'm 20. All these years, i have not given up my faith. But i have significantly further myself from Him. There is only one reason- the fear in me. Before every meal, i will still say my grace and more often than not, i will have my own silent time with Him before i turn in. i know that He is around me but yet i am afraid.
seeing how you all are still strong in your faith cries out to me that perhaps its time for me to do something. i still love God. but it seems that my actions doesn't justify my claim.
i'm sorry for the passing of your precious little ones but your life of faith and story is an inspiration to many out there and a wonderful testimony of God.
Today my hubby and I buried our son who was born premature at 25weeks. I want to let you know that you are not alone, and there are many of us out here who have experienced the same as you. It's been a hard and painful journey, but everyday it gets better. The pain might gradually go away over time, but we will never forget. Our Jayden will forever be in our hearts.
Know that your babies are in a better place with God. Continue to believe that God has a plan for your and David, and everything becomes beautiful in His time. We got to continue believing, all of us.
Chanced upon your blog and I'm terribly sorry for the losses you and your husband had..
I'm not good with much words, so I'll just leave you with my best wishes here. :)
Don't worry, He will arrange another baby for both of you wonderful parents.
Regards,
Valerie :')
No amount of condolences will not take away both your pain. Live for the knowledge that you will see your Ashley, Joash & Nathaniel one day. My prayers will be for three of them and both of you today. Take care,
Angie
Hi,
Needless to say, I wept while reading. Firstly, I'm very sorry for your loss. I am not a mother, not a parent. Being just 21, I can hardly resonate with the concept of parenthood, but the ordeal you've been through touched me and yet it was so heartwrenching.
As a Christian myself, I believe in God's plan for all of us. And I admire both of your courage and continuous faith towards God, when he was the one who took the lives of your precious ones. And I believe there'll be a bigger plan ahead for the both of you.
I pray that if things can't be easier for both of you, then let the both of you can be stronger.
Happy Birthday Ashely. Smile like you've never smile before in heaven, because you've a pair of loving parents.
Lastly, I'll end of with my favourite verse which reminds me of God's timing and I hope it'll help.
Everything Has Its Time
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And and time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embrace;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
- Ecc 3:1-8
And so, I pray that both you find find peace eventually. :)
hey...
stay strong...
take good care of yourself.
god bless.
Hi,
A friend sent me this link. Although i do not know you, i sympathise deeply with you as like you, i lost my boy after 3 days in ICU. So i can understand what you are going through. I'm not sure if you have come across this book, but Jesse by Chris Pringle has greatly blessed me. It tells of how she had a vision of her boy (whom she lost in a miscarriage) was growing well in heaven, under the tutelage of angels. It was a book that helped me alot in my healing. I hope things begin to look up for you as you go on with life. Both of you are very strong (even though it may not feel that way at times). Take care ...
hi,
i've visited your blog a couple of times, each and every time through the linking from other people's blogs...
it pains me to read this sometimes, not that its really negative(the pain) but sometimes, its difficult to see God's plans through the tough times and when it can hurt so bad and shoot straight to the heart. but i do believe strongly that God definitely has a bigger plan for you and you'll see it one day soon. something planned for you so wonderful and lovely you'll be praising God so joyously when it does come into being...
i'm not a parent myself so i won't be able to empathise fully, but i am so touched by how much you loved your 3 angels to set up a blog for them to remember the loving short time you had with them.
parting is certainly such sorrow but i believe that reunification in heaven would be a sweet sweet song.
God Bless You, and i do pray that if you decide to adopt a kid, that the child may know how blessed he/she is that God selected such loving people to be his/her parents...
I accidentally came across your beautiful and heartbreaking blog the other night. What wonderful parents you both are! You have given and are still giving so much love to your children, I’m sure they feel it! It is a terrible injustice they have all been taken away from you, and I am deeply sorry for you both.
One of the reasons I have been reading so much along these lines is because my close friend lost her daughter in July 2007 (full-term stillbirth, cause unknown). My heart also broke when I received this news. She was due to give birth the next day. Over the past year I have been trying to support her as best I can and admire how strong she has been.
I don’t mean to interfere but I was wondering if you would maybe considering adoption? I know a few people who have adopted after not being able to have children, and they have formed an incredible bond with their adopted children, just as strong I’m sure, as if they had been their natural parents. Or maybe stronger, not taking for granted the fact that they have these kids.
I wish you all the best. It’s a tough journey you’re on. Take care.
Anna
i lost my unborn child due to ectopic just last week. I had a miscarriage 1 yr back too. I hope you are feeling better these days.
Dont give up on your dreams. I am not giving mine up.
i felt so sorry for u.
my tears roll down as i read ur blog and while typing this msg to u.
i felt so sorry for u.
i hope ur kid are well in the heaven.
stay strong.
all the best to u guuuuuys.
takes carees
I cried when I read your blog, to be really honest. I just want to say, be strong. We must look at the big idea of everything. When our journey on Earth, ends, it is merely a beginning for our wonderful life in Heaven. It just so happened that your children have reached there earlier, and we should all seek comfort in the fact that Nathaniel, Joash and Ashley and other children are waiting there, to join up with their loved ones in this next phase of our lives. I do not want to be a soothsayer, as I think you have heard enough of that. Just know that these are words from the bottom of my heart. God bless you and your children.
Hello. After reading your blog, I realized how much we should treasure life. Thank you for letting me understand all these.
I pray for your little angels in heaven, and I pray for God to always watch over you and your husband. May both you and your husband move on in life together and look forward into the future. I believe that God does has his own plan for you.
May God bless you.
-Mel
My condolences...
Mr David Sim,
i am Yinn Loong from Gmss. Think you not rmb me. Thanks for the advice you gave to me.
My condolences...
yinn loong.
Mr and Mrs Sim
I feel sad to hear your stories and I want you both to know that I as a someone is here to give you both support.
Dear Mr Sim, I have known you since my secondary school. You have always been a great teacher and a great counsellor to me. You have always been very patience in teaching me music and helping me learn the many good's and bad. I will always remember you and your kindness towards me and my many school mates as well.
After I see this blog, I start to learn how important it is to treasure our family and many of our love ones. As we know everyone of us has problems and pains in regardless of big or small, but I learn your pain are much more to grief for.
Most importantly is that we stay strong no matter what happens. Life is fragile and we need to learn to love life and treasure it. Treasure the everyday we have.
Lastly, May Your three beloved children stay safely in God's hands.
Bless you and your family members.
God Loves you.
your student,
GMSS
Sandra Lim Shuyi.
so sorry to hear that. dont worry God will be with your lovely babies in Heaven and keep her in His wide and warm arms. God loves you and so will He love them.
God Bless You
Hon Wah
Peace be with you...
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